


these are the lies

by ultastro6



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Pining, lying to your gay self to save your friendship, mentions of binu, no relationship established, really short, written in that prime time of midnight-1am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 08:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11436618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultastro6/pseuds/ultastro6
Summary: "hey, can you maybe stop smiling so god damn brightly? i'm really having a hard time because whenever you smile like that you make me want to pull you towards me and kiss you and last time I checked i'm not the fucking ocean and you're not the fucking moon so you shouldn't be able to pull me like the god damn tide"





	these are the lies

**Author's Note:**

> work not inspired by ["these are the lies" by the cab](https://youtu.be/MJ1cj259Dis) but i was feeling the song after writing it so there's that. this is kind of a teaser for my bigger fic that's planned for moonbin and rocky that may or may not contain this scene, idk yet  
> original title of this fic was: "don't tempt me"

“Hey~ We can do whatever you want, I don’t care,” that voice said so sweetly, so innocently, so… so naively. “You don’t have to think so hard about it. With anything, I’ll be happy. It’s been a long time since we’ve had time to just relax and have fun.”  


There was a million things Minhyuk would like to do to Moonbin. They could go out to a nice cafe, go to a park, have a dance practice. They could go rollerblading or just go for a walk. They could walk around the mall, they could go see a movie. Any of those things made sense, and it’s probably what Minhyuk would choose. They were best friends, so getting a nice dinner and stopping at a few stores wouldn’t be unheard of.  


Well, it wouldn’t be hard to pick something to do with Moonbin if the back of his mind would just shut up for a second. Really, Moonbin… shouldn’t be saying things like that. The thoughts in his head… were just thoughts. He’d never do them, but they never left him.  


He could move closer right now. He could put his hand on the inside of Moonbin’s thigh. He could gaze into those eyes he adores so much. He could whisper a compliment in a way that would show how he really felt about the other. Not just as friends, but something more--something more scary, something more predatory. He could move his other hand behind Moonbin’s neck, pull him closer and kiss him. He could kiss the older deeply, he could… and he wanted to… he wanted to do a lot of things with the other.  


But there was a reason why he couldn’t.  


He wasn’t sure if Moonbin was even open to a relationship--much less a gay one within the group--and if he was, it seemed that he would like Eunwoo. After all, they were the soap couple. Just thinking of it, his mood plummeted. His shoulders sank, a soft exhale coming from him as he reached up to push his bangs out of his eyes.  


His reason was fear.  


Like this, he could keep his feelings bottled up. He would rather be close to Moonbin, like this, then to lose everything he had with the other. So even though his heart ached, his mind yearned, his fingers twitching. Even with every nerve in his body he wanted to touch the other, to be close to him, to kiss him.,, despite all of this… he would still remain the same.  
Minhyuk has, and always will continue to, show himself as nothing more than a best friend. Even fi everyday he wakes up with stronger feelings for Bin, even if the these bubbling thoughts and feelings stew within him and kept him up for hours, even if thinking about things like this ruined his mood instantly. No matter what, he was Bin’s best friend, confidant, and (dance) partner. For Moonbin, he could do it.  


_For us,_ he thought, _I can do it._  


“Minhyukkie,” the voice said teasingly, using the adorable nickname he had started to use for Rocky.  


Minhyuk thought it was awfully unfair, the power Moonbin had on him. He made the comparison way too often, but Binnie was the moon to his ocean. Perhaps he was beautiful, but he glowed with the reflection of the other, and moved with the pull of the other.  


“Stop zoning out, you’ve been doing it all the time these days,” Moonbin whined, causing Minhyuk to snap out of his inner monologue with a small laugh (whether it was to mock his own thoughts, or the childish tone of his elder, not even Minhyuk knew).  


“Sorry, sorry~” Minhyuk said easily, gazing over at the other and doing his best to not look completely infatuated with your best friend. “I was trying to remember what this new bakery and cafe is called. I kind of want to have something sweet right now,” he said, offering the other a smile that he hoped wasn’t as awkward as it felt.  


The other grinned at him, eyes closing slightly with the intensity of his smile. Minhyuk tried not to let his smile falter as his heart pounded inside his chest.  


“Oh, that sounds great! Let’s go then!” Moonbin said excitedly, waiting for Minhyuk to lead the way.  


He could always grab Moonbin’s hand. Or put his own hand inside Moonbin’s hoodie pocket. Or wrap his arm around the other’s waist. He could pull Moonbin closer, lean against him, smile up at him while his cheek brushed against his hoodie sleeve. He could do all of this.  


But instead, he nods, leading the other to the new bakery and giving some small talk.

**Author's Note:**

> [i'm okay with us just being friends]  
> these are the lies that i tell myself at night,  
> these are the lies that are keeping me alive
> 
> sometimes you have to lie to the people you love for the well-being of yourself, or for them, or for the "us" that you have created with them
> 
> CAUSE THE TRUTH IS, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE IT,  
> DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU
> 
> i think it's okay to do this (unpopular opinion probably) but please eventually tell them the truth
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ultastro6)  
> if you liked this fic at all i would rlly appreciate kudos, comments, questions, etc.


End file.
